


The Truth Serum

by Repeatinglitanies



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Accidental Drug Use, Don’t copy to another site, Gen, Truth or Dare, attempted drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 18:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18474745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repeatinglitanies/pseuds/Repeatinglitanies
Summary: Klaus just wanted to try Dad’s new drug. How was he to know Vanya would end up taking it?





	The Truth Serum

It all started with Klaus getting a hold of Dad’s special batch of truth serum. But Klaus didn’t know that. All he saw was some new experimental medication he could try out to numb himself from ghosts that just won’t shut up and leave him alone.

 

It wasn’t that hard to take it. Dad was out doing whatever he did when not lecturing them about “acting with the dignity expected of extraordinary people destined to save the world.” There was a time when he would have wondered what exactly Dad was doing when not at home. But that was a long time ago. And Klaus’ only concern at the moment is if this drug would get him high.

 

Checking the kitchen to make sure the coast was clear, he filled a glass of water and emptied the vial of the drug. It was transparent enough to blend with the water, easily fooling anyone who might walk in and see him.

 

And he was about to take a one big gulp when Five walked in with a breathless Vanya in tow. Five then proceeded to snatch the glass from Klaus and handed it to Vanya.

 

“Drink this. You want to train? Fine. But don’t let yourself get dehydrated.”

 

Klaus really wanted to protest but was then silenced with a glare from Five. And a realization struck Klaus, causing him to keep his mouth shut. If he made an issue of this, Five will figure out what he was up to. 

 

And Klaus really didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Reginald Hargreeves’ inquisition. The last time Dad found out about the drugs, Klaus had to witness his room turned upside down and his stash flushed down the toilet.

 

So he kept quiet. For all he knew, what Vanya was drinking was just another version of her anxiety meds. Yeah, maybe that was it. 

 

It didn’t take long for him to figure out what it really was though.

 

Allison came in with Luther in tow. Luther, in turn, was carrying a struggling Diego and a not-really-struggling Ben on each arm.

 

“So Dad’s out of the house tonight. Let’s play truth or dare,” Allison said with a devilish grin on her face.

 

And for the first time since living memory, Klaus saw Vanya immediately accept without anyone asking her directly.

 

_No, that’s definitely not the drugs doing that. Vanya probably made a New Years’ Resolution to be more assertive and is just now deciding to make good on it...in the middle of September_

 

Klaus knew that sounded weak even to him.

 

As expected, Five was having none of it. “Bold of you to assume I don’t think truth or dare is a stupid waste of time.”

“That’s what I said!” Diego retorted while still fighting Luther’s hold.

 

Suddenly, a flash of lightning and a rumble of thunder a few seconds later. Then followed by darkness.

Pogo told them that the lightning caused the blackout. And told them to stay in the living room, where all the candles were lit until the electricity came back.

If Klaus didn’t know better, he would have thought Allison rumored them. But there’s no mistaking the lightning and the ensuing blackout.

 

In the end, Allison got her way. All seven of them were gathered around. And a bottle was placed in the middle of the circle, ready to be spun.

Diego eventually agreed after Mom asked him to be good and play with his siblings and Five only relented after excessive pleading (with accompanying puppy dog eyes) from Ben and Vanya.

 

When the bottle went Vanya’s way and Vanya picked truth, Klaus immediately jumped with an easy question 

 

It really wouldn’t do for everyone to notice Vanya wasn’t exactly herself

 

“Vanya, you have to tell the truth okay? What do you want to be when you grow up?”

 

The question just elicited groans from almost all sides. Everyone knew the answer to that question.

 

But everyone was taken aback when she replied, “I want to be Five’s wife.”

 

For the first time, Five’s face went read.

 

“Are you serious, Vanya?”

 

“Yes, Five. But if you don’t want me, that’s ok. I also want to be Ben’s or Luther’s or Diego’s or Klaus’ or Allison’s wife”

 

Dear God! What was in that drug? It got Vanya into bigamy and incest! But we’re not really related. So what do you call that? Faux incest? Pseudo incest?

 

Klaus’ thoughts were interrupted by Diego, who was the first one to recover from that revelation 

 

“D-d-do y-y-you even know what a wife is supposed to do?”

 

So Diego hasn’t recovered that much. If Klaus could feel secondhand embarrassment, now would probably be the closest he could feel it. Because he didn’t think now was the right time to talk to their sister about the birds and the bees.

 

“Yeah! It means I can stay with you forever and take care of you and talk to you about how our day went.”

 

Ok. Birds and the bees talked postponed. Indefinitely, if he had anything to say about it. Klaus has no problem with sex. But talking about it with innocent, little Vanya was just too weird. Even for him.

 

And that’s when the lights finally came back along with Dad who promptly ordered everyone to bed.

 

As he passed by Five and Vanya, he heard Five ask if she was ok.

To which Vanya replied that she never felt better. How she actually had been planning to tell that truth since the new year but only seemed compelled to it now.

 

Crisis averted

 

Klaus was ready to tick himself in when he heard Reginald voice echoing from the halls

“Who took my truth serum?”


End file.
